You learned the hard way it was always about power: the good ole boy network they call "male headship". As soon as accountability for the rogue sexual behavior of one of them threatens the system, they use religion to circle the wagons to shield him from such accountability and isolate his victim. The cycle of sexual repression and abuse through male headship followed by circle the wagons fake repentance is a feature not a bug of this structure of power. There is no religious cure for it. Only what you call "the whopper"--real gender equality that gives women equal power in the institution would change it. But then the religious ideology that animates the institution would cease to exist. If you fail to see this, you don't understand what you're looking at.

This theocratic cult ruthlessly exploits its members' addiction to certainty, intolerance of uncertainty and humans' cognitive bias of overpaying for certainty. Religious cults need to infantilize their members to sustain themselves. Turn your minds over to us and we'll decide truth for you. Read Eric Fromm's Fear of Freedom to learn how such Fuhrer cults work. Or watch the Exvangelical The Thinking Atheist's podcasts on youtube to fully free your mind to be fully adult. Take with you G.B. Shaw's aphorism: I've been an atheist all my life and thank god for it.