Post-modern neo-feudalism and debt peonage is what you've described. The personal finance advice industry is its ideological scaffolding. It internalizes shame like the church internalized sin and fear of hell. The one inidividual off-ramp from the serfdom you describe is geographic arbitrage: live in a country where:

1. There's good public transport and is bike-friendly so you don't need a car.

2. There's universal healthcare and good affordable private care.

3. There's state-provided child care and public schools that don't regiment kids like they're in prison.

4. The mortgage payments or rent on an apartment are lower than the rent you'd pay in the USA.

5. Work remotely to make an American, Canadian or western income while living with lower expenses. Tutoring for $20-30/hour while living in Kyiv, or Cracow makes you upper middle class.

6. The reduction in financial stress is well worth the process of adapting to a new language and culture, which has its own rewards. Plus you'll live without that peculiarly American combination of opulence and squalor and hair-trigger undercurrent of violence. No society can long survive such a large % of its people going through the level of stress you describe without descending into civil strife or authoritarianism--or both.