Campaign Narratives, 2022
This is not your father’s GOP. It’s now the GQP, the party of QAnon, Big Lie conspiracies and cop-killing Capitol insurrection.
Voting GQP? Looking forward to the next Capitol "tourist visit" by Mr. Camp Auschwitz and the QAnon Shaman?
Vote GQP? Count on another Capitol Pooping Party.
The GQP, the fraudit fantasy fascist party cancelling your vote.
The GQP, the party of disease, death and delusional COVIDiocy.
The GQP, The Texas Handmaid’s Tale party.
The GQP, the party of “my body, my choice" for antivaxxers and forced pregnancies for rape and abuse victims.
The GQP, the fictitious fraudit party.
The GQP, the Confederate statue party.
Vote GQP and send your kid back to school with maskholes and vaxxholes.
Vote GQP to get your COVID treatment at the feed store.
The GQP says:
A warming planet didn't scorch your house.
A warming planet didn't flood it.
A warming planet didn’t bake Portland to 117 degrees.
The COVID that killed your friends and family was just a kungflu easily treated by UV light, disinfectant, hydroxichloroquine and a horse dewormer ivermectin.
Vaccines contain chips that'll track you
Vote GQP? Whatever health and childcare or education you need, it's the GoFundMe DIY way or the highway.
Vote GQP, The Handmaid's Tale Party of menstruation monitoring by abortion bounty hunters.
Vote GQP? The departure lounge from reality straight ahead.
Vote GQP. Earn a diploma from the Kellyanne Conway School of Alternative Facts.
We offer you: Universal healthcare
GQP offers you: GoFundMe insurance and medical bankruptcy.
We offer you: a $15 federal minimum wage.
GQP offers you: the $7.25 federal minimum wage, stagnant for 12 years.
We offer you: paid parental leave, universal free pre-K childcare and home elder care for your mom.
GQP offers you: the efficient market in childcare costing 2/3 your salary and an unaccountable nursing home industry.
We offer you: free community college.
GQP offers you: student loan debt slavery.
We offer you: solutions to the climate crisis that has hit 1/3 of all Americans where they live.
GPQ offers you: “It’s a Chinese hoax”, subsidies for Big Oil, and snowball in the Senate science, courtesy of fossil-fueled Oklahoma Senator Inhofe.
The GPQ offers you: unregistered open carry guns, unending mass shootings, militia madness and “the Sandy Hook kids and parents were crisis actors.”
We offer you: guns licensed, the gun show loophole closed and the gun violence epidemic treated as the public health emergency it is.
This is just a small sample.
Politics is not a vegetarian sport. Only red meat works. Tar the GQP with the brush of every extremist neo-Nazi nut job they’re in bed with.
Americans don’t need AOC’s dress to know their country has been turned into a plutocrats' plantation in which they pay higher tax rates than Peter Thiel has on the $5 billion in profits in his Roth IRA. Every Democratic campaign should tell them the candidate running knows that they know this.
