After diagnosing the problem and the power relationship correctly, the question is what's next. What do you about it? Whose behavior can you change more easily? That of every male boor you encounter, or your rule-following good girl template?

Here's a women's basketball story to show how. When I taught at Riga Business School I played basketball with my students as part of their required sports activity. One day I had three female teammates in a streetball game against four guys who were bigger, stronger and faster. Before playing I told my teammates this:

"They will test you and try to push you around. Push back twice as hard and do not let them smell blood. Because if they do, they'll only push harder.

Stick to them like glue, disrupt their game by whacking the ball away every time they dribble.

Pass the ball around so fast they can't follow it."

We beat them 11-6 in 20 minutes.

It was an absolute joy to watch the amazed and bewildered looks on those guys' faces. It was a gendered version of the basketball hustle movie White Men Can't Jump, retitled White Women Can't Jump.

Most memorable game I ever played in 55 years of basketball.

But if I'm playing against a woman I will absolutely exploit the gender difference to test her and to win do exactly what I warned my Latvian female teammates those guys would do.